Dreams and Dramas

We were having the usual toxic duty this morning where everybody is busy preparing their medications, filling out charts, attending to patients, etc. when the station phone rang.. Luckily, I was the one who happened to just pass by so I  answered the phone. The said call was from room 867.

Ella: Hello! Thank you for calling nurses’ station. How may I help you?

Caller: …

Ella: Hello? Hello? 

Caller: (hanged the phone) 

I thought the patient just dialed the wrong local so I ignored the whole call thing and proceeded to my patient’s room to give his feeding. After an hour, I was back to the station to fill up my charts when the phone rang. It was from the same room and again, nobody answered. So I raised the call to the people in the station. 

Ella: Bedside po ni 867?

Everybody just looked at me and none of them answered my question. Then the call light from the same room beeped. And since nobody’s answering and room 867 is just near my district (I’m handling patients in rooms 863 to 866), I went to the room to see things myself.

When I was about to go inside the room, I found out that the door is locked. I knocked but nobody is answering so I rushed to the station to get the key. But…

Charge nurse: Ella, don’t bother opening the room

Ella: Why ma’am? 

Charge nurse: Nobody occupied that room since the Monday.. 

Ella: Huh? But the phone is ringing and the call light keeps on beeping 

Charge nurse: Ella, We’ve been experiencing that since ***** died. 

Apparently, the charge nurse is talking about my patient (whom I was referring to in this post) who died last Monday. She also told me that nurses from different shifts are also raising the same incident. I got shocked because I’m not expecting these mixed signals from her. 

Until now, this whole scare shit keeps on sending chills down my spine like WTF. 

Ella, patay na si 67. Kagabi daw nung pagka-transfer niyo. 

These are the words of the Medical Resident On duty to me yesterday upon doing his rounds at our area. 

How could that happen? We even changed her diaper upon arriving to the ward. I endorsed her with stable vital signs, sleeping and wearing BiPAP mask with setting of: IPAP=10, EPAP=6 and SF=10 lpm. 

I know she’s diagnosed with Community Acquired Pneumonia, DM type 2 non-insulin dependent, Acute Renal failure secondary to sepsis and Liver Cirrhosis secondary to Chronic Hepatitis B infection. Maybe Multi-organ Failure (MOF) caused her death or Cardiac Arrest? I guess we’ll never know. 

Upon riding the bus home last night, I reflected on the care that I rendered to her. What did I do? What comfort measures have I provided to the patient and her relatives? Was I able to provide her utmost care to give her a dignified death? I don’t know but I hope I somehow contributed.  

This is the first time in my professional life that I handled a patient who died. And the death of this patient really marked my life with overwhelming emotions and realizations. But I really thank God that I have the chance of sharing my life to others (even though I really miss my family when I do) while every one else is living their lives on a Friday night. 

We, the batch 33, started training last Monday but they have to orient us with the setting in hospital first with the help of seminars and lectures on the basics like charting, techniques, hospital policies, etc. For Makati Med graduates, all they have to do is refresh our memory in these stuff. Because the practice during our undergrad years and the current is almost the same; The only difference is our license and the responsibilities that comes with it. 

We also got our training schedule and guess what? I was assigned to my least favorite areas: Pedia and Psych. Life is tricky sometimes right? But who knows? These areas may contribute to my professional growth? Bright side, baby! 

I also got the chance to pledge my cornea and sclera if something happens in the future. Trivia: One sclera may help 8 blind people to see again. As nurses, the foundation wanted us to be an advocate of this good cause that’s why they included it in our training. 

Alessi, me and Yumi. Classmates and seatmates during the training. Great job to mouth for keeping me awake during the training by taking her pictures while she sleeps. Haha!

Batch 33 appointed president and vice-president. Good thing with RJ because he reminds me a lot of our tasks like collecting papers, reminding the class and so on. RJ is also the one who is in charge of our party after our CETN graduation. Leadership? Challenge accepted.

Clinical exposure on the remaining weeks so I as might as well prepare myself physically, mentally, emotionally and professionally. It’s not gonna be easy but God is with me. Thus, I can do it.  

I know it’s very unusual for me; normally, I’m laid back when it comes to certain things like let’s say school, activities, etc. But lately, I’m not being me. I’m worried about my application status in MMC.

The other day, my medical exam was cleared up in Corporate Wellness Department by the physician and they told me to just give them a call regarding the status of my application. I was expecting a smooth flow since I know it’s an easy process from that point. 

April 2 when I lost my phone that morning when I rode a tricycle going to work. That means my number in MMC’s database is not updated. What if they are texting/calling me in that number? WTF that’ll be terrible!! However, I did my part din naman by asking a friend to replace my number in their system. But still, I haven’t receive any text yet. 

This is getting insane! I shall give them a call tomorrow!

Last month, I passed my resignation letter that would be effective on April 17 because I was accepted into Makati Med’s CETN program but I’m too lazy to step out of the house and finish my physical exam. Know what? A lot of events are coming up this April and May. Family members are coming over to celebrate with us on my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary and Matty’s christening which I can’t afford to miss.

I realized that there are a lot of family gatherings that nurses miss because of their sworn duty to their institutions and patients. That is if you’re under probationary and can’t file a vacation leave. 

Hopefully, I was able to leave POI with a good reputation. I tried my best not just to impress my bosses but to extend my duty to patients out of my scope as well. Leaving POI is not easy for me. 

Tomorrow, I will pass my resignation letter that will be effective on April 17.

Last night, I made the decision of choosing Makati Med over POI. But don’t get me wrong! I don’t want to sound arrogant. In fact, POI made me realize a lot of things lately- How to earn a living, how to pay my bills with my own earnings and a whole lot more. Professionally, POI molded me into a more knowledgeable and competent Orthopedic OR nurse and I am confident that I can answer queries regarding surgery procedures, equipment and concepts with regards to this field. POI made me love Orthopedics more. 

But, there’s a lot in store for me in the real world of professional nurses. Even though I’d love to be a doctor, it will be hard for me to let this chance of exploring the nursing career just pass by. I am doing this to keep my options open and I hope that my friends in POI would understand my decision.